Certainity of not having you

I wonder how I remember all those memories, each detail of those carefully stitched scripts in my brain. Then I realize there were too few to forget, it would take a lot of effort to forget someone who has given too few memories in number to remember.
   Like any teenage girls dream to make it last with their first love, you were the dots to the lines I was trying to join with other people. but of course , the lines they didn’t join to be you . Well lucky you , I said quietly that night , when I found out you love everything about me , and you were happy to find it , in another person who doesn’t happen to be me .
    But when I woke up , I was happy to realize no one can be me . Not the same amount of cute , whiny , twisted , and smart. But most of I realized she can’t be me and I can’t be like her   because she has you and I Dont. Having you at different times doesn’t make us similar.
   I am going to wake up tommorrow , not wishing to be as lucky as her , but to be in a different time where there was hope , there we doubt of having you, and not this certainty of not having you at all.


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