30th February

“I want to make the most of the day. Maybe sit amongst the wildflowers and stretch my legs towards the river, and gather strength from how it can’t flow back to where it came from anymore. While I’m picking flowers pretending to know how to make wreaths, I’ll just give into the moment and let myself be crippled by the thoughts of these  insects sticking onto me. After I’m done finding the branch which has the least amount of ants clenching onto it, I want to sit and think less about  about how fearlessly I’ve loved, but more about how much I’ve been loved. I want to compile all those conversations that made love grow like dandelions  in my heart, gather all those moments hd once ran into these dense forests to sit beside me. I’ll start to write about how his compliments always look good on me, about my need for security and belonging. I’ll swing on branches of hope, and when I pull back, I’ll replay all those happy  memories of vacations with my family, and when I rise higher looking at stormy skies  I’ll hopelessly  hold onto it like a child clinging onto the metal chains of the swing. I’ll  walk on extensive patches of a green lawn, in my favourite summer dress realizing how I’ve fenced this emptiness with lush green. And when I return I’ll make a monument of all the memories of my first love, rejection of new love,the roots of hurting, the misunderstanding, old home, and bless the monument with holy tears that cried for attention. I’ll promise myself to visit this monument on 30th of February of each new year”



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